


Hollow

by immortalbears



Series: Sober [9]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Accountant Locus, Anal Sex, Aromantic Felix, Aromantic Sharkface, Bottom Felix, Cuddling & Snuggling, Heir Washington, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Objectification, Reflection, Roommates, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 01:53:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7294774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalbears/pseuds/immortalbears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p><br/><i>Let me also wear</i><br/>Such deliberate disguises<br/>...<br/>Behaving as the wind behaves<br/>No nearer—<br/>The Hollow Men, TS Eliot</p>
</div><br/>Having succeeded in winning Wash back into his life, Felix shows Wash just how much he wants him to stay with a particularly sensual and intimate form of love-making. During Wash's absence, Felix falls ill, and Locus fails to be a comforting presence, leading him to spiral into a deep, depressive bitterness.<p>When Locus realises that Felix is actually ill, he tries to comfort Felix. Sensing that Locus perhaps doesn't hate him, Felix decides to make amends and even considers seducing Locus. </p><p>In the meantime, Sharkface, whom Felix only talks to when he wants a distraction, reveals the reason for the scar on his face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hollow

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend reading the previous Washlix romance part ("Parabola") in the series ("Sober" series/437359 ) first, since this part starts with Washlix sex.

 

**Hollow**

 

_Let me also wear  
Such deliberate disguises_

_..._  
Behaving as the wind behaves  
No nearer— 

 

  * _The Hollow Men, TS Eliot_

 




 

Wash's lips, parted, showing cute small teeth as he let out a soft moan. Felix couldn't help but look, eyes half-lidded, at the roundness of the tip of the nose, and the curvature of its bridge. He leaned down and kissed him, deeply, holding Wash's thighs apart as he did so.

 

Those lips positively glistened; he stood up straight again and looked down. The way those eyes were tilted upwards at the edge, similar to his own, but with a crease above, making them look larger and more expressive.

 

 _I could almost fall in love with that face,_ Felix thought. _He's got lips like mine. Kinda wish I had his eyes. Not that I don't like my own, of course... Don't they call that 'phoenix eyes'? Eyes like a phoenix's. Mine lack those folds._

 

“Hey, Washy.”

 

“Hm?” Wash looked at him, gaze wondering.

 

Felix shrugged and smiled, reaching to touch him on the cheek with his palm. “How do you want to do this?”

 

Wash let out an incredulous laugh. “ _How_? We're already in this position.”

 

“Well, I was thinking,” Felix said. “...About what Locs said, about how bottoming means you're giving a part of yourself. I... I thought maybe I should bottom now.”

 

“Do you want to?” Wash asked.

 

Felix backed away and let go of those thighs. He wondered how Wash would take him – they've never really fucked like that. He'd given Wash a blowjob earlier this year, and he'd gotten Wash to fuck him with a dildo. He wondered if Wash even topped. He smirked and shrugged. “Only if you want to.”

 

Wash looked at him and sat up.

 

 _How is it possible for somebody's gaze to be so tender, so sweet? He does it somehow._ Felix hoped that he was showing Wash what he wanted to see when he smiled from within his heart.

 

“You don't have to. Locus was wrong.” Wash said. His gaze hardened for a moment as he mentioned his ex, but other than that, he seemed quite grateful that Felix had even brought it up at all. “Would it bother you to know that I've never actually penetrated someone? I mean, besides with sex toys.”

 

“I don't mind it, man.” Felix shrugged. He explained, “I just wanted to show you what you meant to me. I know how different it is to be the bottom than to be the top – I mean, there's always this element of trust, that the other person won't hurt you, that isn't present when you're topping. You know? It's pretty much one of the fundamental truths, but being fucked by Hargrove really made me think.”

 

That little performance must have been delivered perfectly. It wasn't even a lie – it was the truth. Wash looked at Felix with the fondest, most gentle smile in the world and held him tightly.

 

Felix held him back, glad to have him right there, in his arms. The fact that Wash's home had wonderful ventilation and climatisation also helped – Felix had never felt so comfortable on another's bed before, aside from Sharkface's. Hargrove's place did not count because of Hargrove.

 

“I'll try it.” Wash said, breathing in deeply. “But if it doesn't work, I want you to fuck me.”

 

“So, I'll be taking a first time of yours? _Nice_.” Felix grinned, excited at the thought now. He wanted to own something of Wash's – an aspect, or an experience. Locus had married Wash. Why couldn't he take something else? “Why don't you let me ride you, and then if you're ready, we could always switch?”

 

Wash nodded. He leaned back against the headboard, chest heaving a little as Felix knelt over him, straddling his lap.

 

Felix was shorter – just by a little, so he had to remain on his knees to maintain a height advantage over Wash. He rubbed his crotch against Wash's belly, leaning down to kiss him. Felix felt Wash's tongue probe against his, curious and gentle at first, but with increasing enthusiasm. Wash's tongue was soft and wet, like the other place that he loved of Wash, when he'd lubed it up perfectly.

 

He reached down beneath himself, feeling Wash's crotch. Wash's cute cock was pressing against his perineum, and he guided it backwards, pushing it between his buttcheeks so that he could rub against it with his ass.

 

“Felix!” Wash's cheeks were flaming red.

 

“Yeah?” Felix closed his eyes a little and continued. “How is it?”

 

“It's so... Kinky.”

 

“We've done kinkier.” Felix laughed. _Wash's priorities are seriously weird. No wonder he's letting Hargrove fuck him._ “Hey, mind passing me the lube?”

 

“I didn't mean... Oh. Well.” Wash breathed deeply and took the bottle from the bedstand, handing it to Felix. He reached to tweak Felix's nipples before resting his hands on that chest. “It's just... different, that's all.”

 

“You mean nobody has rubbed their ass against your cock before?” Felix squeezed a liberal amount onto his palm. _Scented_ , he thought, amused. _A fruity smell, too._

 

“...I guess. I thought it's just something you see on porn. I've never done it, it'd be too embarrassing.”

 

“I like shame when it can get me off.” Felix shrugged. He wondered who had actually topped Locus, then, if Wash hadn't. Maybe Locus was lying. Maybe it was with another partner. “If I didn't want you so bad, I'd want you to cum on my ass right now.”

 

“We'll do that later.” Wash promised, eyes twinkling. “We can take turns.”

 

Felix nodded and kissed him again, smearing the lube against his ass before pressing Wash's cock against it. He quickly palmed Wash's cock, so that lube dribbled down liberally from its head. He frowned a bit, feeling tight due to the position. He used Wash's cock to smear lube liberally against his buttcrack, and then willed himself to relax as he started to rush two fingertips.

 

 _Don't need too much prep,_ Felix thought. _Wash is big proportionately, but it's definitely not gigantic compared to somebody like Locus. It's not even Sharkface's size. Cute, though, like mine._

 

“Felix...” Wash let out a soft moan as Felix, now confident that he could take Wash without hurting and still be tight, lowered himself on his cock.

 

“Washy...” Felix breathed in deeply, and moaned, too, mirroring his partner. He loved the way cocks felt, especially that one moment when they pushed in inside him despite his supple and resistant body; it always felt so exquisitely submissive no matter what he was doing, to feel his body yield.

 

Of course, _he_ was anything but submissive.

 

Hearing their breaths both echo each other, deep and almost quiet, Felix let out a soft keening moan as he sat down with a sudden thrust, and began to rock his hips while Wash was balls deep inside him.

 

“God.” Felix murmured, feeling his eyes roll back into his skull at the pleasure. Yes. This was a perfect position. Wash's cock didn't overstimulate him like Locus' could, like that. It felt amazing when he moved, of course, and it pressed against his prostrate pleasantly when he kept still. Felix centered himself a little and looked back into Wash's face, checking to see how the other man fared.

 

Wash's face was still amazing. Those lips were so shapely that Felix thought they really did look like petals of some sort, cliched as that was.

 

“Goddamn,” Felix murmured, “You're so cute, I just want to kiss you.”

 

It seemed to make Wash really happy, because the other man pulled him down by his neck and kissed him deeply.

 

Felix closed his eyes, feeling filled up and snug with Wash's cock inside him. Neither of them moved for awhile, they concentrated on kissing each other, on touching each other. Felix reached to play with Wash's nipples and moved on to nibble his ears, knowing that he liked it there. Wash moaned and wiggled, but otherwise kept quite still with his hands on Felix's back.

 

 _I guess it's better for us if he stays like this._ Felix thought. _Washy's got a bite, but not in bed, apparently._

 

It was almost like they were making love.

 _  
Making... Wow, I practically make sex into an art form. I'm making performance art._ Felix thought, amused. He ignored his own hardon, concentrating on making Wash feel comfortable and relaxed enough to stay hard inside him. He could feel Wash's cock twitch inside – he took it as a cue that he should start moving.

 

This he did, slowly at first, with rocking motions. He watched Wash's face, holding the bedstand as he flexed his thighs and began to thrust his hips up and down.

 

Curious, he stayed still when Wash was fully inside him again, and squeezed down tightly, before lifting his hips.

 

“Ahh–!”

 

 _He sounds like a bottom even like this._ Felix thought, amused. _Looks like we're gonna be able to keep this up for as long as I want him to._

 

Wash bit his lips and looked up at Felix helplessly, while Felix reached down to touch his own cock.

 

“You feel so hot inside me,” Felix whispered into Wash's ear. “So wet.”

 

“Yes. I... Felix. I'm going to cum...” Wash's face flushed straight down to his neck. “Felix!”

 

“–Cum inside me. I want your first time to be the best it can ever be.” Felix said, stroking his own cock harder and harder now, the combined pleasure making his momentum faster.

 

“I–“ Wash closed his eyes. His entire body shuddered.

 

Felix could feel it getting wetter and hotter inside; he loved how slutty he felt whenever that happened. Cum must be dripping out of his ass. He pictured it as he gave Wash's cock a couple more pumps, before splattering his own seed on Wash's belly and chest.

 

Felix had yet to cum from inside, but it was close, and it was good enough. Wash probably couldn't take it anymore, anyway.

 

“Hey, Washy.” Felix grinned, turning around. “Wanna see?”

 

“Yes,” Wash replied, breathless.

 

Felix chuckled and lifted his ass, spreading his ravished hole, wiggling cheekily as he did so.

 

“Gosh.” Wash said, after a while, “I'm sorry.”  
  
“What? I come in you all the time.” Felix said. He lay down beside Wash, liking the feeling of wetness dripping down his inner thighs.

 

Wash looked at him like he had done something terrible, and Felix wanted to laugh. Was that why Wash had never succeeded in topping someone?

 

“It's fine.” Felix cooed, reassuringly. “I like this, okay?”

 

“If you say so.” Wash said easily. He lay down beside him and held Felix for a while.

 

 _We're cuddling,_ Felix thought. _...Did we used to do it like this? Did Wash used to be so touchy-feely? I can't remember, shit._

 

Felix let Wash hold him for a while, until he couldn't take it anymore and had to use the bathroom.

 

“Hey,” Felix said, as he got up. The cum was crusted, and the lube was starting to get sticky, so he was justified in leaving the bed.

 

Wash looked at him in confusion, almost like he was afraid.

 

“I'm gonna use the bathroom, alright?”  
  
“Oh. Yeah.”

 

“...Mind if I stay the night?” Felix asked, smiling.

 

“Yeah. Of course you can!” Delight danced in Wash's eyes.

 

*

 

It was two days since Felix had taken away Wash's “first”. He still reveled in that knowledge, rolling around in bed after waking up to quietly jerk himself off while Locus slept, oblivious, on the floor.

 

Locus sometimes commented on his smell, though, with distaste. 

 

It made Felix angry.

 

Everything Locus did made him angry.

 

He supposed that it couldn't be helped, because Locus and himself were so different that they were like the sun and the moon.

 

 _No_ , he thought, _Wash is the moon. Locus is like a satellite. Annoying as fuck, inconvenient to get rid of, and not terribly important in the grand scheme of things._

 

 _Still,_ he thought, looking at the other man from afar sometimes. _It doesn't have to be this way. We don't have to hate each other. If Locus would stop being such a piece of shit, then perhaps I wouldn't feel the need to hate him first._

 

Of course, that was asking too much of the man who fucked up. Royally.

 

Still, he couldn't deny that Wash not being there was really putting a damper on things. He texted Wash arranging for another date, but Wash hadn't time for the week, claiming to be out of town for business. For the great show he put up, Felix thought, he was given absolutely jack shit in return, and it was embittering him.

 

...Though, the money was really nice. Felix had to admit that.

 

If only... If only he didn't feel so empty inside a couple of days after having a good fuck.

 

*

 

Felix's feet kicked into the empty air above the bed. The blankets rolled off his body, tumbling towards the floor as he made a mad dash towards the bathroom.

 

He bent over the toilet, waiting for his stomach to seize up and do its thing.

 

 _Come on, fucking body. Just get it over with. Come –_ He shoved a couple of fingers into his throat to expedite the process. _– On!_

 

He could feel it coming, then; the burn in his throat, and the aftertaste of food, only with the actual tasting in reverse.

 

His stomach felt like it was going to come out from his mouth as he heaved into the toilet. The sounds of barfing was surely loud enough, he thought, that it could probably wake everyone in the apartment, especially if they were that particular somebody named Locus, sleeping on the floor in the living room.

 

There was no more; he felt a rumbling in his lower belly now, the pain in his stomach still as sharp as ever.

 

Deep regrets filled him as he flushed the toilet, pulled down his pants, and quickly planted his ass on the seat. Remnants of dinner could be smelt through the pungent stink of stool _–_ it burnt, too.

 

The whole process was repeated a couple of times, and Felix found that his eyes had involuntarily teared up, his nose ran like rivers, and deep in his heart of hearts, he was wishing for a gentle hand to find its way to his back.

 

_M... other._

 

It was stupid. He didn't love his parents, or anybody else. They were, however, the first who loved him, even if they didn't accept him, not fully. And probably the last that would love him unconditionally, he thought miserably. It was just as well, because from them, he learnt that love, hate, and terror were all one and the same.

 

Felix was self-aware enough to think it a good thing, to be incapable of love. The destruction that he would have wrought on his beloved would have been too great.

 

He shivered, feeling the thin T-shirt inadequate for those night chills.  
  
Miserably, Felix doused himself in hot water, and sat in the shower as water ran down his cold body.

 

His legs weren't obeying him anymore, and his arms were no better than overcooked spaghetti.

 

_I wish somebody was here. Somebody who'd... find me._

 

 _Wash?_  
  
Washington wasn't there _–_ he was halfway around the city. Felix thought he probably was resting, comfortably and warmly, inside his well-decorated but simple room.

 

 _Find me._ He thought, still curled up in a fetal position. _Somebody..._

 

_See me as I am. Weak... And help me._

 

There was somebody living with him, after all. Locus. Felix knew that his relationship with Locus was about nonexistent. Still, he thought, it was clear that nobody would be up in the middle of the night with water running for so long, and surely the loud retching could be heard echoing through the apartment.

 

The door to the bathroom never opened. There wasn't even a knock, or a voice asking to see if he was okay.

  
_I guess I'm not worth checking up on. Figures._  
  
Eventually, Felix got up, his stomach burning. The warmth of the bed was calling him, and he yearned to return to the oblivion of its womb-like embrace.

 

_Better change out of these clothes. I'll catch a cold. Nobody's going to take care of me._

 

Felix stripped himself down, took the towel, and dried his body dejectedly. He let out a light sneeze before picking up a toothbrush, thinking of Washington's perfect teeth.

 

He looked up in the mirror as he rinsed off his face.

 

The bags under his eyes made him look ten years older; suddenly, he looked his age. Hating what he saw, Felix quickly patted his face dry and wrapped a towel around his waist.

 

_Going to boil some rice, first. Mother always made that for me._

 

The towel slipped down. He kicked it aside weakly, frustrated. It wasn't going to keep him warm, anyway. It wasn't a huge towel, or a fluffy one.  
  
Felix bent over the basin as another pang made its way through his body, but nothing came out of his mouth.

 

It hurt and it burned.  
  
– _Hold me._

 

Nobody was going to. Felix wrapped his arms around himself and squeezed tightly, feeling his own cold fingers digging in, sure and reassuring on the bare bones of his shoulders.

 

As he turned on the light in the apartment, Locus looked up at him with a disgruntled look on his face.

 

“I have an interview tomorrow.” Locus said, barely concealing the irritation in his voice.

 

Felix wanted to retort, but, hollowed out and barely alive, he couldn't. Instead, he took out a pot and slammed it in the basin, hearing the empty splashes as it filled.

 

“And put on some clothes.” Locus grumbled.

 

Felix inhaled deeply. “How about you just shut the fuck up!”

 

Locus didn't reply.

 

“What the fuck do you think I'm doing up at this fucking hour? Do you think I want to be up? Hey Felix, just wake up in the middle of the night and strip in the cold for the sole purpose of annoying the VIP in your goddamn apartment! That'll teach him!” He dumped some rice inside the pot and put it on the stove, turning on the heat as he did so. “Do you think you're _that_ fucking important?”

 

“–Why are you up?” Locus asked.

 

“You're fucking clueless. I don't know what I expected.” Felix snorted. “I've got food poisoning, okay?”

 

Locus kept quiet.

 

“What _did_ you think I was doing?” Felix demanded to know.

 

“I thought you were masturbating in the bathroom.” Locus said.

 

Felix didn't bother looking at Locus anymore as he waited for the water to boil. It would probably take a few minutes, but he wasn't going to eat the rice anyway, so he could probably save some time. As the water in the pot began to simmer, Felix went and look for some clothes. He pulled on a sweatsuit and then went back to stir the water. When it looked done, he poured the water into a cup and sipped.

 

He was no longer cold, and his stomach burnt less now.

 

 _That_ was a relief.

 

“Are you better now?” Locus asked.

 

Felix ignored him and went back to bed, turning the light off as he did so.

 

Felix had thought he'd hated Locus a lot less in the past few days. Locus wasn't a terrible person, just somebody who made bad choices. But right then, he hated him for other reasons. Like everybody else, Locus didn't see him– _couldn't_ see him.  
  
Like everybody else, all Locus saw was the facade that he'd projected to the world.

 

While it had been earnest at times, and he was, indeed, a man of many facets, he was also a person that suffered.

 

Locus couldn't see that. Couldn't see him.

 

_I don't know what I expected._

 

Felix propped his pillow up and slept in a sitting position. The rice water had instantly made everything better, but there was now a burning in his chest. The sort that felt like a little child inside of him, screaming, scratching. Crying.

  
Wanting to be seen.

 

Many people had seen him; his face, his body. It didn't matter what they thought they saw of him. It was never he himself that they saw.

 

Locus only reminded him of that; reminded him of the people whom he used to fuck. Reminded of the “dates” he used to smile at for a drink, a meal, or a new phone.  
  


_I've known this all along._ He thought to himself. _Nobody will ever see me. They'll only see what they want to see. Smiley Felix, there with a joke, taking life as it comes. Smart Felix, if only he could get his shit together. But oh, he won't. Wiley Felix, sly as a fox: always telling smooth lies to get the best out of any situation._

 

 _Maybe even –_ he looked up at the mirror. Bitter smile and bitter lines on his bitter face. _– Felix the desired. Felix, Armonia's greatest sex machine._

 

_The most gilded and campy stereotype of them all._

 

To those people, he was feminine, likely because he was small and had the personality of more than a doorknob. “Boy”, they called him, as if he wasn't a grown man.

 

People like _that_ knew nothing about the burdens of being the object of another's gaze, instead of being his own subject.

 

 _Hah. That's because most of them are just ugly as fuck and they wish they could either_ be _me or fuck me. They don't know shit about being desirable._

 

Felix snorted in derision. Their cardinal sin wasn't even that they were ugly.

 

It was that they completely lacked substance.

 

Like strawmen, with no backbone of their own, they were stuffed with hay inside their shirts and under their hats. Like sheep, they huddled together, thinking their little circle of delusion could shield them from the truth.

 

The mistake that these people made was in thinking that he was a one-sided character, that he wasn't infinite or capable of multitudes.

 

That he was this side character in their lives, and not also the protagonist of his own life.

 

Their mistakes only showed how weak they were.

 

No, they all saw what they wanted to see. Whatever was convenient for them to see. It wasn't enough that he'd made them part from their money without ever loving them back. It wasn't enough that he'd led them on and probably hurt them in the process.

 

It was not _revenge_ enough for their mediocrity.

 

 _For that,_ he thought, still dazed and oddly hurt, _they all deserve to rot._

 

*

 

Why everything tumbled together like a snowball rolling into an avalanche down the hill all of a sudden, Felix did not know.

 

However, he felt very sober; very sensible and clear-headed, as he woke up in the morning and decided that he was justified in hating _everyone._ He woke up with a certain fire inside his soul: If he could get back at every single individual on earth, no matter how small the infraction was, he would do it without hesitation.

 

Fortunately, Locus was already out of the apartment when Felix woke up.

 

The small man shuffled around the house, making actual food for the day, confident that the rumbling in his stomach was already over. If not, he would just make himself more rice water. Maybe tea.

 

_God, I want a drink. Tea? Not tea._

 

Felix looked through the fridge. _Beer isn't doing much for me anymore. I need something harder. Stronger._  
  


Sometimes, people needed a little something to pull them through, like cars needed diesel. Humans needed food for their corporeal vehicle. And they needed something else for their souls.

 

Felix got out a can of beer, anyway, and drank it quickly. He felt his stomach rumbling, and realised that he was probably going to regret this.

 

 _If I don't eat anything, there's nothing to vomit._ Felix thought, grabbed another beer, and went back to bed. _Maybe beer._

 

_Beer flavoured bile._

 

Felix made a face at the thought, wishing he'd saved the second beer for later.

 

 _Vodka and rice wine is better for this sort of thing._ He thought, thinking of the money that Wash had given him. And smiled, for a split second. Even though Wash wasn't there, right then, he still had something of his, and it wasn't something completely useless. _I'd say Wash should be my sugar daddy, but he's probably younger than me, isn't he? That's just not some kind of social trope that I can bank on. He knows it, too._

 

It was unclear what Wash wanted. Felix could only hazard a guess: love, friendship, or a simple desire to see somebody he cared about be well – which was strange. Felix almost expected to be drugged out and kidnapped as “payment” for Wash's kindness. But then again, they'd known each other for two plus years now, and Wash had plenty of opportunity to do bad things to him if he'd wanted.

 

_I can't trust someone just like that, man. But if he has no ulterior motive..._

 

 _If Wash just cares about me... Could that be?_ Felix wondered. He rolled onto his side carefully, ready to sit back up should his body protest. _But why would anybody do that?_

 

Wash's actions confused him. It was like Sharkface's. He was sure Sharkface didn't like him that way. If he did, he probably wouldn't disappear on him so much. But if he didn't, there was no reason to be good to him, either.

 

He bit his lower lip, closing his eyes again as the warm sheets enveloped him like a shroud. Doubts about friendship disappeared from his mind as deep slumber claimed him once more.

 

After what felt like mere moments later, Felix heard the door opening. He must have slept the day away, because it was starting to be dark.

 

“Excuse me.” Locus said, as their gazes met. “I didn't mean to disturb you.”

 

Felix nodded numbly.

 

“Would you like some tea?” Locus asked.

 

Felix shrugged and picked up his phone again. “Yeah. Sure.”

 

The tall, dark man stood by the counter while the water boiled, and poured it into the teacups. Felix sat there with his phone, still feeling too empty to actually care about what he was doing.

 

Locus had made the tea and put them on the counter when Felix got up, strolled over, and took one. He left the extra cup there, thinking it was Locus'.

 

“I made you two cups.” Locus said, looking up.

 

“Mmhm.” Felix still didn't feel like replying. He sipped the tea and sat down by the table, watching as Locus sat on the couch and read a book.

 

The silence was almost unbearable. Felix wanted to say something, to irritate Locus primarily, but the tea almost made him feel a lot less hostile.

 

“Didn't you have the interview today?” Felix asked, trying to sound neutral.

 

“I got the job.”

 

“Oh.” He shrugged. “When are you starting?”  
  
“Next week.” Locus replied, eyes still on the book.

 

“As an accountant?”  
  
“Yes.”

 

Having a conversation with Locus felt like chewing nails – not the ones on the fingertips. “I guess you're moving out then?”  
  
“Eventually, when I can find a place that will rent to me.” Locus said. He put the book down, and looked at Felix. “I am sure you will be glad to have the place to yourself once more.”

 

“Well,” Felix chuckled. “Maybe me having food poisoning in the middle of the night wouldn't be a problem for you anymore.”

 

Felix couldn't tell if Locus looked uncomfortable or not.

 

Either way, Locus suddenly looked a little more desirable in Felix's eyes. The way the taller man was carrying himself – back straightened, chin down – made him look so much more attractive than before.

 

“I hope you're feeling better now.”

 

Felix wore a smile like women wore fancy makeup. Weaponised. He looked straight at Locus and said sweetly, “I am. Thanks for the tea.”

 

“I- It was my pleasure.” Locus replied, looking away quickly and touching the back of his neck as he did so.

 

“You know, I think I'll miss you when you move out.” Felix added, looking deep into Locus' eyes even though the other man was looking away. _Here, damnit. Look at me._

 

“You won't.”

 

“So you think. It's just, you grow to be fond of somebody after being around them for a while, okay? I'm not the complete asshole that you think I am.” He said, getting up into Locus' personal space so that the other man was forced to address his apparent sincerity.

 

“I... see.” Locus seemed genuinely shocked, but accepted his words anyway.

 

 _Score_. Felix softened in front of Locus, forgiving him for his disbelief. He smiled at him now that they were looking at each other again. “Relax, Locus. This calls for a celebration outside. Why don't we go get a drink or something?”

 

“Perhaps.”

 

“Come on, man. You need to go outside. You've been in here all week.” Felix put a hand on Locus' shoulder and used his cajoling tone. “If it's money you're worried about, I've won a small jackpot in the lottery and I can pay for myself. Heck, I'll buy you a drink, too.”

 

“Very well.” Locus said, looking around the apartment a bit. He stood up straight, stretching. “Allow me to prepare, first. We can go when the bar opens.”

 

“Sounds like a plan.” Felix grinned. “Same place we met?”

 

“Yes. It is convenient enough. I don't think I should drive when I am drinking...”

 

“Feels almost like we've come full circle, huh?” Felix whistled. He worked Locus' intentions through his head quickly. The guy must be referring to the train, because of the direct line downtown. It was near the city center, but not right smack in it – just enough to be affordable, convenient, and not too crowded. Felix didn't mind it at all; he wanted Locus to pay attention on himself, after all.

 

Locus didn't reply. He simply got up and gathered his things, before saying simply, “I am going to take a shower. Unless you want to...?”  
  
“Meh, I'll go after you.” Felix waved easily and plopped back down on his bed with his phone.

 

Locus nodded, expressionless.

 

Felix continued tap-tapping at his phone, waiting patiently for Locus to come out of the bathroom. There wasn't much else to do; he messaged Sharkface telling him about taking Wash's first time. Fishsticks, surprisingly, replied relatively quickly – telling him to quit it with the “fishsticks” ordeal, and also, to tell him more.

 

Felix took his time tapping his reply while Locus was still in the shower. He was still emptied out and had no energy to get horny. “You know, Sharky, it's like... It's like getting fucked by a virgin and a bottom at the same time. Incredible. Wash really is a person with many sides to him, I've got to say, but none of them involve being a domineering top.”

 

“Well,” Sharkface replied, “The two of you have that in common.”  
  
“Bullshit. You should see how I topped Locus...” He grinned, and shot a quick glance at the bathroom. “He was all, 'Master, you're fucking me so good'. And then he came like twice.”

 

“Sure. Whatever you say.”

 

Felix would have been annoyed at Sharkface's reply if what he was telling wasn't the truth. As it was, he grinned, self-assured, that he was simply amazing no matter what position he was in, or what role he had to take. “So anyway, we're going downtown. You wanna come with?”

 

“Nah, I'm actually on a trip right now. Just texting you while on the road.”

 

“Going back to visit your parents, mommy's boy?”

 

“Yes. And to meet an old friend to settle a score.”

 

“Fff. Oh, and fuck you for insulting my dick size. I fucking hung it up on the wall and Locus saw. Thank fucking god he couldn't read it.”

 

“Bet you $10 he did.”

 

“Nah, he definitely didn't. Seriously, Sharky, you owe me.”

 

“...What do you want?”

 

“Don't know yet, but you owe me a favour.” Felix stroked his chin. “Teach me how to ride a bike.”

 

“Throw in your hot friend and I'll consider it.”

 

“Fuck's sake, I can't make him go fuck some stranger he doesn't know after what's happened, okay?” Felix rolled his eyes.

 

“I'll even hide my face if you want me to.” Sharkface was quick to respond. “Come on.”

 

“No.” Felix replied, unthinking. “Glad you offered that though, you're like... Really fucked up in one side of the face, man. A face that only mothers and Joker fetishists would love.”

 

“...Fuck you. Want to know how I got this face? I've never told you, have I? You think I was born like this?”

 

Felix was surprised that Fishsticks – Sharky – seemed so angry about it for once. “I dunno, you can't just go up o someone and just ask them what fucked their faces up. So, what happened?”

 

“..I didn't used to look like this. I had a normal life. A good-looking face. I even had a husband whom I would have married if it was legal.”

 

“What? That's the point of marriage. Legal shit.” Felix definitely did not think too hard about this reply, either. Maybe Sharkface was having a mood – it would certainly explain why he took so long to reply to his texts.

 

“...You really do not understand love in any of its forms, do you?”

 

“You're saying you loved him?”

 

“As a friend and a brother, yes. I trusted him enough to settle down with him. He was devoted, and a soul mate.”

 

“Huh, I thought you didn't feel any love yourself. Pretty sure you've said that a couple of times.”

 

“I don't feel romantic love. But it doesn't even really matter anymore, because he's fucking dead. My best friend in the world, my soul mate, who loved me more than anything else in the world, is fucking dead.” Sharkface must have been steamed when he replied, with words like that coming out in one large chunk.

 

Felix blinked, surprised at the intensity of it. “Hey man, sorry to hear that. So like, what's that got to do with your face? An accident?”

 

“...I don't care if it was an accident or not. A reckless driver wrecked our car and caused the leaking gas at the gas station to fucking burn. We took the case to the district judge. That court never met, because the driver that killed him, totalled my car and destroyed my face, had connections.”

 

“Oh. Damn.” Felix winced. “Couldn't you take it to the supreme court?”

 

“No. You see, I would if I didn't already know that his family's connections were so grand, they would have been able to bought them off, anyway. The legal system is corrupt, Felix. Never trust a bunch of rich people deciding your fate. They're always going to side with each other.”

 

 _So bitter._ Felix thought, surprised at how deep Sharkface's wounds ran beneath the surface. _Well, I'd be, too, if I were him._ ”Mm. What happened next?”

 

“I almost died. I was in physio fucking therapy, and costs were getting prohibitive since my livelihood was ruined and I couldn't work. I had to accept the deal.”

 

“Yikes. So how did you end up here?” Felix wondered.

 

“That's... private.”

 

“Okay, won't pry. Hey I think I gotta go, text you in a bit.” Felix shrugged, putting his phone aside as Locus came out of the bathroom. “Hey, Locs.”

 

“It's your turn now.”

 

Felix beamed brightly and plugged his phone in to charge. He gathered a change of clothes, too, and headed off to the shower.

 

Taking off his clothes, he took the opportunity to look into the mirror and flex, flashing himself a great, big smile.  
  
_Looking good. Locus is going to eat this all up. And hey, if not, at least I'd have gotten somebody to come along with me to a bar._

 

He took the jar of oiled sea salt and generously lathered himself with it, making sure to exfoliate leisurely. His skin usually felt baby smooth after using oil, and radiant, on top of that.

  
Felix closed his eyes and the water splash against his face. He felt impeccably clean as the water ran down his body – quietly, he reached down to hold his boner, as the salt had already washed off and all that remained was the silky smooth feeling of scented oil.

 

Wonder why Fishsticks – Sharky – suddenly decided to tell me this much. He did the mental equivalent of a shrug, and thought of Wash again. He let himself think of that pretty face, letting his mind wander to Locus' dignified gait, and began pumping himself quietly. Even though he was working himself hard and fast, he wasn't really feeling it; all he could think of was having a large dick inside his ass, pounding his prostrate and making him go mad from that.

 

 _Fuck, I'm really kinda sexually frustrated for a great big cock._ He though, giving up halfway and letting his erection die down. He leaned against the wall for a moment, resting.

 

_Should do this for Sharky next time. Exfoliate, and moisturise, I mean. Sharky would love this feeling._

 

_Damn, I forgot to do this for Wash. Doesn't matter that much when you top, though, and he's not like touching me that much or anything. It's fine._

 

He bent over and got the shaving razor, running it over his nether regions lightly. It cleared easily.

 

Felix truly did like that feeling. He touched himself down there a bit more, shuddering lightly as he rubbed his finger against his asshole. He licked his lips and started jerking off again, but stopped because the position was incredibly awkward.

 

_After all that trouble, though, what if Locus doesn't want to...?_

 

_He's a man, of fucking course he wants to. Right? If not, I'll just use that against him._

 

_Wonder if he'll fall for that._

 

_I shouldn't have to though, I'm hot as fuck and he hasn't even gotten a good jerk off since he moved in here. I bet the guy would feel awkward masturbating in the bathroom, too. How can anybody get satisfied from just that?_  
  


Felix smirked to himself. He thought, _It would work out just fine._

 

 

 

 


End file.
